Misconceptions

There are a lot of misconceptions around compulsive and pathological lying.

First of all, people seem to use the terms compulsive liar and pathological liar interchangeably. Compulsive liars will lie about anything, all the time, regardless of the situation. Pathological liars usually only lie when it will help them get what they want. A pathological liar will lie in order to get a date or a promotion at work. A compulsive liar might lie about what they had for lunch, or inexplicably invent a holiday to Fiji, complete with photos taken straight from Google images. The difference is the reason behind the lie.

Pathological liars are seen as horrible, cold, unfeeling people. However, they simply do not see how this is wrong. Their morality system is different, and it is a genuine mental illness. Pathological lying is just one part of a larger illness called Sociopathy. Other traits include:

• Superficial charm.
• Manipulative behaviour.
• Lack of remorse, shame, or guilt.
• Joy, love, and compassion are often not genuine.
• Need for excitement. Often gambles or displays promiscuous behaviour.
• Lack of empathy.
• Lack of impulse control.
• Early behaviour problems.
• Irresponsibility.
• Lack of realistic life plan.

Sociopathy is difficult to deal with, whether it is in yourself or in someone you are close with, but with therapy and medication, it can be treated.

 

(He's not actually a sociopath, high-functioning or otherwise. Psychologists are getting cross.)

Another misconception is that compulsive liars can stop lying whenever they want to. Compulsive liars feel compelled to lie, and often cannot stop. Sometimes they might not even realise they are doing it. It becomes so much a part of their life, that it is easier than telling the truth. Even after they realise what they are doing, it is very hard to stop, simply because it becomes as much of an addiction as drugs or alcohol. You wouldn’t tell an anorexic to ‘just eat’, or a drug user to ‘just stop doing it’. So don’t try and tell a compulsive liar to ‘just stop lying’, because it will not help. They can stop, in time, with therapy and perseverance.